Eclectic & Ethereal

Greetings Friends!  If you have been reading my recent posts, you are aware that my Father died.  A year has passed and unfortunately with the many demands on my time – like everyone else – I have not been posting on the blog.  I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings regarding my Father and I hope that it helps spread his positive legacy and inspire everyone to cherish the wonderful relationships in your lives and be grateful for the people whom you love and who love you.

My Father wrote the poem below while in the hospital during the last weeks of his life.  It beautifully reflects the man he was and how he lived.  Michael read it at the funeral mass and everyone was touched and teary-eyed.  As a testament to how moving the poem is, we had many requests for copies.  I am sharing it with you all and hope it touches you and encourages you to live your best life everyday.  We all deserve that, Dear Friends.  Thanks, Daddy, for teaching us that vital lesson.

Daddy’s Poem

Through the annals of time many women and men
Have been troubled by wonder and doubt
Why The Lord made them special, assigned them the task
To explain what our life is about.

Having done some research into some of their works
I’m impressed with the things that I see
I will try to explain in a few simple lines
The effects they have had upon me

I find that:
To live is to love, is to give, is to share
To create, to enjoy, to belong
And our history confirms, that the oldest of people
Are really not with us for long.
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So I tend to the matters important in life
And the rest I let wait in their turn
I enjoy family living, take time to have fun
There will always be money to earn.

Though I like being busy, accomplishing things
I don’t search for a fortune in gold
And I look at my seniors, and things that they’ve done
And I pray that some day I’ll grow old.

But if something should happen to alter my course
And I’m left here on Earth not quite whole,
Then I’ll sit down in silence, and ponder His plan
And examine the state of my soul.

Now I look at the World as through rose-colored glasses
Impressed with the things that I see
And now fully convinced it’s a wonderful place
I’ll say thanks now for sharing. Signed, Me.

My Brother wrote the following letter after the death of our much-beloved Father.  It illustrates the way Daddy lived and  the legacy he bestowed upon us all.  We are fortunate to have been raised by amazing Parents who taught us independence and self-reliance balanced with abiding support and love.  To quote the amazing Theodor Geisel (aka:  Dr. Seuss), “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

To All;

First and foremost, my Family and I would like to thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

My Father was my hero; the only other man who matched him in my eyes was my Grandfather, his Father, John T.  The heroes of other people threw footballs, hit baseballs, or sang songs; mine drove trucks and made sure their Families were their top priorities.

My Father was a great Husband, Father, Brother, Son, Nephew, and Friend. He was a Man with a firm belief in his Faith, and was a very grateful and content person. My Parents also lived purposeful lives in a simple, down to earth style. They never drove fancy cars, dined at expensive restaurants, or stayed at upscale hotels because they did not believe in overindulgence. They would rather enjoy things in a much more modest fashion, and give the rest to charities or others in need. This was all done with no fanfare.

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He taught us to always be honest, do your best, take ownership, stand on your own two feet, take your lumps when needed, and get up and regroup after a setback or disappointment. He was sympathetic as long as needed, and encouraging afterwards.

My Father lived a practical lifestyle. For example, he never liked the idea of flowers at funerals, as he always believed that the money for flowers, which are gone in a week, would much better serve others in need. He was also a guy that would help someone in need without being asked. Again, per his wishes, there will be no wake. He is being cremated, and a Mass of the Resurrection will be held at his Parish.

So, please, if you would like to honor My Father, do not send flowers, cakes, gift certificates, etc. He would have much rather that money go to a charity of your choice, or that you help a person in need. Donate blood. Any act of kindness or sacrifice is most appreciated.

Please forward this missive as you deem appropriate.
Again, thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers.

To Our Dear Friends – I know Michael has been in touch with everyone while I have been dealing with things. Of course, he has passed along all of your support, concern, prayers and kindness to us and my Family. As you know, Michael and I have been together for more than thirty years and the loss of my Father is an incredible loss to him as well. Although it is a very difficult time for him, he has been incredibly supportive and protective of me, as always, and has been involved as the integral member of the Family that he is. I am ever grateful for his support, strength and love. Although we are sad that Daddy will no longer be with us day to day, he will always be with all who knew him – most especially his Family. He was truly a good, kind, honest, loving, generous man. He taught by example that we should all live good lives, be kind and loving and cherish our friends and family – and that our family is always able to accept a friend as a family member. We are very blessed that he and my Mother shared such deep and abiding love – my Mother wanted the notice in the paper to say he was “The True Love of Joan” rather than just Husband. They had deep love and respect for each other that never wavered. Although he was protective of her, he knew she was his equal – and he was proud of that. When I was growing up a lot of men still treated their wives and daughters as almost a foreign breed – they loved them, but they had a different place and different role in the World – I am so appreciative that I never felt that barrier. He taught me many lessons every day, but one special one that sticks with me always is that he taught me that the moon followed me and watched over me at night because I was so special – so next time you are out driving at night, take note of the moon watching over each of you because you are so special. I apologize if I have gone on too long – I know you did not know my Father, but I just want people to know that although he is gone from here, he lives on through the values he taught us and the example of his own life. We are sad, but honestly, we are all doing okay, because he was able to die as easily and quickly as possible when no other option remained. Tinnitus does not generic cialis for sale appear overnight, this condition is the person is healthy and will get out of it easily. Approximately, purchase generic viagra 30 million men in the UK suffer this sexual issue when affect them mentally, physically and emotionally. Men who are suffering from erectile dysfunction and impotence, there is also an levitra free sample deeprootsmag.org increasing amount of medicines designed to help people fight this issue. Through this way all disturb system comes on track and male phallus levitra overnight shipping obtains blood in sufficient quantity. He was an exemplar of strength and concerned and considerate of others right up until the end – it truly was a life well-lived. For a man who worked hard and valued and enjoyed work, being unable to do anything was a hardship for him. The Nurses, Aides and Doctors who dealt with him daily were all effected by his strength and kindness even at the worst times for him. They were crying with us and consoling us as well as each other. Daddy had deep-seated faith, so he is at peace. Michael and I and my entire Family are truly grateful for all of the kindness and support from our friends. You make it less sad and more a joyful celebration of his life. My Parents are simple and dislike waste of any kind. I will forward a letter my Brother wrote to his co-workers – he expressed our feelings very well. We request that if anyone wants to honor his memory to please give to a charity of your choosing. He was a supporter of St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital – the sick kids broke his heart. He always said to try to leave things a little better than you found them. Job well done, Dad! Love and gratitude to each of you – you are deeply appreciated.

Mothers’ Day is next Sunday, so I thought this an ideal time to show gratitude and give praise to all of the Mothers in our lives.  They are indeed shaping the future of people.  One does not have to have given birth to a child to be a Mother figure in his or her life. All women can contribute enormously to the well-being and shaping of children. We do not have to be related nor even know the children personally.

The notion that it “takes a village” to raise a child is true – more so than ever in these turbulent, derisive times.  As much as technology can help us bridge distance it too often has the opposite effect and actually divides our local communities.  We frequently eschew time with our neighbors in our actual villages in favor of time spent in the virtual world.  Obviously, I am not against the use of the internet and of course, there are scads of great uses for it.  But it should not replace the time we spend with real friends and family – people we actually know in the real world – it should be a supplement and tool for us to live better in our daily lives.  A tangential thought on this subject – pardon the aside – the fact that when one types “internet” on the computer that auto-correct keeps capitalizing the word is indicative of the importance that the word conveys.  It is used as a proper noun, akin to a name or title.

I want to thank all of the strong and loving women who are nurturing our next generations and continue nurturing me.  We all continue to evolve and grow, so we need support, love and guidance throughout our lives.  We all benefit from mothering – never to be confused with smothering.  Mothering is constructive with the goal of making us the best we can be – healthy, confident, self-loving and respecting, contributing members of society.  It requires an inordinate amount of patience and vigilance.  At times it means being a disciplinarian and not a best friend.  Children will have a lot of friends throughout their lives – some for a brief moment and hopefully some for a lifetime – but their Mother is so much more.  She is meant to mold them into their best selves because she is uniquely qualified to know their most positive attributes and to nurture their personal interests and strengths.

I am very fortunate to have a strong, smart Mother who taught independence, nurtured my intelligence and encouraged feminine strength.  She does not bend to the tastes and wills of others and resists many of the female stereotypes of her generation.  I greatly admire and respect how she has lived her life and helped us all live ours.  She is my heroine.  Another tangential aside – I so despise the fact that the words “heroine” and “heroin” are so similar – the first can save the younger generations and the latter is destroying so many young lives.

My Mother was raised in a family of all women on both her maternal and paternal sides.  Her Father died when she was young, so she and her two Sisters were raised by their Mother, maternal Grandmother and two Aunts who never married.  Their paternal side of the family consisted of a Grandmother and two Aunts, one a widow and the other never married.  They were interesting characters – some were pie-in-the-sky eccentric dreamers and others more hardened by the challenges they faced – but they all possessed admirable strength.  Whether by nature, choice, or circumstance, these women were independent in a time when it was still unusual.  They laid the foundations of feminism, espousing self-sufficiency and the power of education – they didn’t merely preach it, they lived it.  I owe a debt of gratitude to the past generations of women in my family who have helped shape me.

Please take note that sexual stimulation is required for the tablet to dissolve in the blood and for the effect of the medicine they takes lots of blood. levitra no prescription Fields is well-known for his expertise in the field of viagra pfizer cialis regenerative medicine. Deliberate distraction is another form of trying to stop those buy cheap cialis pop-ups from opening while doing a live presentation. viagra without prescriptions canada Your doctor should be aware of anything that will require a high amount of concentration. At times my independence and willfulness have been a challenge – those quirky, eccentric Aunts did have some effect on me!  My Mother has said that it was easier to raise five boys than one girl…  that girl being me!  Yet, she acknowledges how proud she is and admires my strength and kindness.  To a large degree she is responsible for who I am today, so the praise truly belongs to her.  She is a quiet and powerful force in the World and we should all aspire to be that kind of Mother to the whole World.

Thank you to all of the women of the World contributing so much.  Much positive change in the World comes through women, and the treatment and status of women in a culture directly impacts and reflects the success and strength of that culture.  We woman should do our best to help each other throughout our lives.  In our personal communities and in the global communities.  We all need nurturing and love, no matter how old, successful, rich or powerful we are.  The disenfranchised benefit greatly from the kind of mothering that women can provide – changing the World through love is a powerful notion.

Let us focus less on the differences that separate us and instead on the sameness that unites us.  We are all women and Mothers – and we are capable of healing and changing the World by exercising our power individually and collectively.  Happy Mothers’ Day to us all!

I have been absent for a while due to health issues – which, quite frankly, have left me feeling uninspired at times.  The fog is beginning to lift a bit, and I want to take this opportunity to thank those who have stuck with me and continue to stick with me as I am learning to adjust to my new reality.  There are some limiting factors, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason – and the diagnosis of fibromyalgia is a message for me to  slow down, show love and focus on my passions.  The truth is that this disorder – I am not sure it is even technically a disease – makes it difficult to focus on more than one thing at a time anyway.

I have always been a spiritual person – never religious though.  I consider myself to be a seeker.  Like many other people, I always have questions to which I am seeking answers.  It can be about simple things which we often take for granted – like who decided eight ounces would equal one cup – to the esoteric and supernatural.  I wonder about everything…  at times it can drive people crazy, but it is just the way my mind and heart work.

I am very fortunate to have a naturally optimistic outlook.  I tend to see the bright side of things and am rarely shaken by the events in my life, as I am confident that what happens is for a reason, there is a lesson in everything and things will work out as they are meant to be.  This has frequently led people to assume I am either cold and unrealistic or dim-witted and delusional or any combination thereof.  This assessment is untrue, but it is not important to disabuse people of their opinions of us – what they believe does not change who we truly are.  I am genuinely thankful for all of the experiences in my life as they have made me who I am today, and I rather like me, and I hope to improve every day.  Each day I have gratitude for all of my many blessings and hope that everyone is equally blessed and gives thanks as well.  When we live with positivity it spreads throughout the World and changes the way we live.  Unfortunately, negativity has the same effect, only with the polar opposite outcome.

For a long time I have been thinking much about spirituality and how we all live together in this World which is rapidly shrinking in so many ways – yet the chasms between us are growing wider and deeper all the time – and I have learned that we all need to do our best to see our fellow humans around the globe as neighbors.  Some we will like and some won’t be our cup of tea.  Just as we choose to become friendly and hang out with some neighbors and even become friends; there are those neighbors who consistently do irksome things and are self-centered and discourteous.  We don’t have to invite them to our parties or go to the local pub with them – but we do have a responsibility to help them if they are in need and ensure their safety and well-being.  We should all strive to live in peace with each other and make our neighborhood safe and beautiful – and this magnificent spinning blue orb is our human neighborhood.
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If we can choose to love our neighbors we can change the World for the better.  Again, I don’t mean loving each other in the sense of being besties and taking selfies together on our awesome adventures to the malls and tropical vacation islands… On a side note, please, people, I beg for an end to the deluge of self-serving, self-exploiting selfies…  Yes, you are beautiful and vibrant, but the Victoria Falls or kaleidoscopic Vermont foliage that we barely see in the background of your selfie is probably more inspiring than the cute Coach bucket hat you are jauntily sporting or the Louis Vuitton baguette bag you have prominently displayed in the selfie.  You are more than your possessions, swanky locales, tasty desserts or little purebred dogs for whom you paid an exorbitant fee that could feed an inner-city family of four for a year that you are featuring in your photos.  Let’s try to focus in life and in photos on what is truly valuable.  Okay, I am stepping off my soapbox regarding selfies now…

Cockeyed optimist though I may be, I strongly contend that peace on Earth is achievable.  Personally, I am not a fan of organized religions – it is my opinion that historically they have done more to divide than unite mankind.  However, according to many polls and my own informal discussions with many people, most people believe in a higher power or divine deity.  And it seems to me that many people like to be able to blame or praise that deity when things happen on Earth – often removing any responsibility from themselves.  If you start with the belief that we were provided with everything we need here on Earth, then you have to agree that we have really screwed up.  The majority of cultures have creation myths in which God (or gods or whatever name is used) created the heavens and bountiful Earth and populated the Paradise with humankind.  The story continues that God created all the beasts of the land, sea and sky so humanity could flourish.  Man oh man, what destruction we have wrought.  The good news is that since we screwed it up, we can unscrew it.

There are many names for God – and whatever name people choose to use, the great majority speak of their god as teaching love for our fellow man and preaching peace.  So, here is a radical idea…  if there is such devotion, gratitude and love for God, why don’t we all try to live the way He would want?  Why wait for a supposed reward in another life?  Instead, why not do our best to recreate the idyllic garden which was provided to us and live the way we were meant to live in this time on this planet?  Make it not about ourselves and what we want, but rather about the greater good and peace on Earth that God wants?  For all who say they believe in God and praise and give thanks to Him, this should be easy.  We need to stop using the different names of God and our religious texts which were written by men and served to pass down the laws and lies of their culture and religion to divide us and keep us from achieving the unity in which we are all supposed to live.  If we could do this, there would be no need for wars or inhumanity in the name of God.  If we truly want the best for every person, there would be no hunger, desperation or poverty.  If we are able to treat everyone as we wish to be treated and live with love in our hearts, then we will have achieved Paradise.  And after all, isn’t that what we all really, really want?

My postings have been spotty at best since beginning the blog and I apologize for the lack of consistency.  I sincerely thank anyone who is following the blog and appreciate your patience when time passes between posts.  When I first started it, I was on vacation from work, so I was able to keep up better and have a more reliable posting schedule.  It is most important to me my posts are interesting, entertaining, thought-provoking and well-written, thus I am unwilling to sacrifice quality for quantity.  In an attempt to create a reasonable and reachable goal, I am going to try to post at least twice a week – once early in the week (Monday through Wednesday) and once on the weekend.  I will do my best to refrain from posting only on two consecutive days in a week, but it may happen.  If so, mea culpa.

We are all so busy with our day to day that it is hard to find time to pursue our passions.  It is a shame we need to “make” time to do the things that fulfill us.  Between work and our myriad of other responsibilities it can be challenging to carve out “me” time.   Humanity is pretty awesome, but we all know we cannot create time…  so, we need to do our best to squeeze in all that we can in the time we have here.  It just sucks that a great deal of time is spent on things that do not feel like they are feeding our spirits and oftentimes, the majority of our time is spent doing what is required rather than desired and our spirits are actually drained in the process.

Like so many others, I am on a quest to balance financial responsibility with fulfillment.  I admire those who have been able to create a job life that meets their spiritual and emotional needs and provides them with a livable income.  As cool as it is to be Jay-Z, Steven Spielberg or Bill Gates, I am not talking about them.  I am talking about the people we all know in our communities who go to work everyday and love their jobs (sometimes jobs we know we would not enjoy at all!).  There are many artists and entrepreneurs who follow their dreams and must adjust their economic goals in order to do so.
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Artists come in all forms and when one is working in his or her chosen medium, the results are as fulfilling to the artist as they are to the patron.  The photographer who so perfectly captures the spirit of a moment and provides a lasting testament to an ephemeral experience.  The small restaurant owner who loves to feed the body and soul of her customers and gains pleasure from the nourishment she provides.  The artisan who performs handyman repairs with care as if each home he works on were his own – and relishes the opportunity and rises to the occasion when really artistic jobs are offered.  And of course, the blogger who makes you smile, encourages you to think, prompts you to scratch your head at times and hopefully inspires positivity in you.

When we are positive, it is good for the whole World!  Positivity can spread like a virus just like negativity can.  So, why not try to infect the World with kindness, generosity and love?  We are all artists and can contribute in our own unique way to making the World a better place.  One happy little step at a time…